Expect the Unexpected

Since August of 2014 my life has been really crazy.  My mind set about love, and where I am in feelings has changed so drastically that I had to sit beside myself and ask the crazy question you never want to ask. Where do you see yourself in life next year? Sometimes you don't even want to think about where do you see yourself next week, never mind next year or five years down the line.  OK well I really didn't say where do I see myself in the next year, I just had an epiphany or a wake up call, that I didn't want to be here like this anymore.  And I am not ashamed to say that in September 2014 I sought therapy for advice to figure out my crazy.  Its worth a shot if you can't seem to figure it out for yourself. For I thought I had to really be insane or is something really not right with this picture.  To open up is a very hard thing for most people because we feel shame and embarrassment.  You can do it at your own pace and it brings out some pain but its starting to feel peaceful.   But I feel that GOD placed certain people (from work)in my path at this time to let me see that what I actually was going through other people have had these feelings and I was not the only one.  I really didn't have to say much because they spoke on it first and I was shocked that they'd hit the nail on the head.   I had always had my two best friends/big sisters

were by my side the whole time giving me much support that I could never repay them for how much I talked their ears off before I answered the question "what you gonna do about it?"  Right now I am just really nervous about what the rest of the week is going to bring. I wish that I could scrap but still my emotions are everywhere and I have not been able to scrap like I would like. I miss it though.